The Baby's Stuck!

"Birth is violent, whether it be the birth of a child or the birth of a new idea. Beginning stages of development are rough. The most giant tree begins life as a tiny green sprout, pushing dirt out of its way as it forces itself up through the earth to the sunlight." ~ Marianne Williamson

The last 2 weeks for me has felt like the birth experience my wife had (of going 15 days PAST the Oct. 3rd due-date), of our first-born son, Caeden. (Guys: hang in there, for the main point)

We had planned for the ideal home birth, with our midwife Cathy Rude, using a birthing tub, her mom present and with our friend Pam video taping the whole thing. We had a vision of our desired birth experience, and resisted all the “not so ideal” stories that others had experienced. Well, to make a long story short... it didn’t happen the way we planned.

On day 12 of being overdue, our midwife felt (because of a bad dream) that we needed to get an ultrasound done, revealing Michelle’s amniotic fluids were dangerously low, which required immediate hydration. On day 13, the fluids were up, leaving us hopeful that all else would go as planned. That morning, her contractions began, but they were not strong enough to cause efficient dilation for labor. We did everything possible and natural to bring labor on...breast pump stimulation, chiropractic labor-adjustments, walking and still nothing. Then on day 14 came the dreaded Castor Oil treatment. While Castor Oil is effective in irritating the uterus for contractions, it’s also MORE effective at irritating the bowels (enough said on that). So, here we are on day 14, and everything is coming out except our son. All kinds of things were going on in our heads, like... “Why is he so late?” “Doesn’t he want to come out?” “Is something wrong?” etc. Our midwife wasn’t happy with our progression or his heart rate during the contractions... so we transported to the hospital, where more of what we didn’t want became necessary.

At 7 A.M. on day 15, they administered pitocin followed by an epidural, and by 6 P.M. Michelle still had only dilated to a 5, of the needed 10. The nurse, midwife and I all decided that we needed to inform Michelle that a C-Section was inevitable. The doctor would pass by in an hour, at 7 P.M., and if she wasn’t ready to deliver he would have no choice but to take him out. We prayed, then Michelle had her own personal time with God, where she felt God ask her if “she was ready to receive him”. She felt she needed to surrender to “the process” of how he came out, because him being out was the most important thing...not the process. She surrendered and was at peace. A few minutes later the doctor came in and checked her... informing us that she was now dilated to a 9, followed by “Are you ready to push?” Push? Yes, it was happening... she was able to push him out (with help from the forceps, because his head was “stuck”, thus the reason she couldn’t deliver on her own). Caeden was born at 8:43 P.M., after 3 days of laboring. (He was 4 months old yesterday!)

So, how do I feel like Michelle in her giving birth to Caeden? Well, March 2004, almost 2 years ago, an idea, dream and experiential journey was conceived, as an extension of us - Freedom Life Consulting. It, the “baby”, was given the names: “The Pilgrimage Ride”, or “A Ride of your Life”. And the due date for our very first (of 6 rides) was scheduled for 2/22/06 (this week), but unfortunately there are no riders signed up, so this ride had to be cancelled. Two years in the planning... emails sent out... calls made... discounts given... and even a total change of it’s price to “give what you feel it was worth”... and still – No Birth! Not only is this first ride important for the birth of this dream... but also our financial pressures and debts are expanding bigger than Michelle’s belly was before Caeden came out.

So, during these last couple of weeks, in my head and emotions, I’ve gone to all kinds of places that haven’t been good. I’ve vented, expressed my frustration, sought understanding, perspective and much needed assistance from my wife, friends, family, life coach and other motorcyclists... like Michelle had the midwifes, nurses, doctors, forceps, pitocin, and epidural to get Caeden birthed... for me, there’s still – No Birth! So, last Thursday, I did what Michelle did on the hospital bed, and surrendered to God and to “the process” of this “baby’s” birth. I laid it all before Him, and do you know what happened? No, not the “baby” yet, but... my head came “un-stuck,” and I’ve begun to stop resisting how these rides will look and moving beyond the box of MY original idea. Of course, God also reminded me that it was “His baby” all along... and that I would only parent it... not control it, and that I wasn’t the one who sets the “due date” and specific look of the “baby”. I’ve become more aware and open to new ways this could be done, and thoughts and ideas are coming together even now, as I write this. Many of your comments have expanded me... so thank you! So, I’m still not sure of how it will look in the end... but I’m certainly open and listening to this whole process and trusting the “baby” will come forth, the way it’s suppose to. You will be hearing more from me soon...

So, all of you out there that want the most out of life and have a dream, idea, plan for your life that is BIGGER THAN YOU... I hope you hear in this message, some of the truths that I’m becoming more and more aware of: 1. Nothing happens by accident. 2. Surrender to the process and the timing. 3. Let go and trust. 4. If you can do it without Him... then it’s smaller than it could be, and 5. You cannot fail... if He is in control.
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By the way, it’s been 2 months since my last email, which is partly why my “head was stuck”. I’m back in the saddle now... surrendered to the journey of who I am and... IT’S GREAT TO BE BACK!

~ Dave E. Anderson, Motorcycle Life Coach
www.FreedomLifeConsulting.com
www.PilgrimageRide.com